For Christ’s Sake Mom, Stop Licking So Damn Hard

The only spotless giraffe known to exist has caused great confusion in the scientific and conservation communities. Is this baby giraffe a black swan of  genetics or a victim of child abuse?  Lady Macbeth is likely to be called in as a witness should this matter go to trial.  The Tennessee Zoo issued a “no comment.” A grounds keeper who asked not to be identified for fear or reprisal said “I’ll be damned.  The baby giraffe was loaded with spots when I made rounds this morning.”