Shocking News: Sewers Smell Like Sh*t!
Imagine city officials discovering the source of foul odors is coming from the sewers. No shit, Sherlock.
Not Sure the Correction Was Necessary
What self-respecting drummer wouldn’t be on drugs? The correction requires further investigation.
Wait Till He Finds Finds Out That It’s a Pork Kebab.
Not sure how one confuses an ISIS Commander for a slab of beef but I sure wouldn’t say anything. Messing with the wrongs can be hazardous to your health.
Parrot Owners Beware: The Curse of the Cursing Parrots
LONDON — A British zoo has had to separate five foul-mouthed African Grey parrots who keepers say were encouraging each other to swear.Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie joined Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre’s colony of 200 grey parrots in August, and soon revealed a penchant for blue language.”We are quite used to parrots swearing, but we’ve never had five at the same time,” said the zoo’s chief executive, Steve Nichols. “Most parrots clam up outside, but for somereason these five relish it.”Nichols said no visitors had complained about the parrots, and most found the situation funny. “When a parrot tells tells you to ‘f– off’ it amuses people very highly,” he said Tuesday. “It’s brought a big smile to a really hard year.”
Time to Change Your Dog’s Name
Apparently, this dog owner did not get the memo about politically incorrect names for dogs. The name Snickers is no longer suitable for dogs, horses, cat, candy bars or anything else for that matter. If you have a problem call Gaylord Fokker.
I Think You Joined the Wrong Search Party
This search party could have gone on forever. What causes someone to join a search party looking for herself. Next time try psychotherapy if you’re having an identity crisis.
One Way to Get the Potholes Fixed in a Hurry
From Manchester, NH (waiting to confirm if Manchester, England does this also): an ingenious way to immediately attract Department of Traffic’s PotHole Division. There is a lesson embedded in this clever ploy that can undoubtedly be used in other use cases.
Jesus Is Just Alright with Me?
A letter to the editor from a local newspaper caught our attention. A reader contemplating conversion to Christianity had some questions before taking the leap….
For Real: Government Site for Stupid ( But Plain-Language) Headlines
This is for real. As if government wasn’t stupid enough already, there is a real website www.plainlanguage.gov that features funny headlines.
World’s Ugliest Pooch: Judges Got This One Right
Everyone’s dog is the cutest, best dog in the world. Except for all the hugely incompetent owners who can’t handle their dog who bark 24 hrs a day and chew everything in sight. Those owners tend to dump their misbehaving pets (hopefully NOT) at the nearest kill shelter. Scooter has been officially named the ugliest dog in the world; therefore Scooter must have one helluva personality since and probably can read without moving his lips, speak three languages, and can count from 10 backward. In which case having the ugliest dog in the world isn’t so bad. Also Scooter should have one of the largest followings on instagram for reasons that are self-evident. Scooter baby, you just be you!
Python Alphabet- The Letter M
The world’s largest python measuring in at 19 feet long conveniently creates the letter M when draped over the shoulders of two idiots who are about to get the sit squeezed out of them
Is a Bear Catholic? Does the Pope Shit in the Jacuzzi?
This bear is definitely not Catholic. And the Pope Does Not Shit in the Jacuzzi or the Woods
Rudy Giuliani Was Just Tucking in His Shirt? More Viagra Please
One of the universe’s greatest unsolved mysteries is what ever happened to America’s Mayor? Thank you Sasha Baron Cohen sharing this journalistic gem. Maybe if Rudy started Untuckit shirts it would help.
Really? Really? WTF?
This Target Shopper obviously didn’t get the memo… ahhhh….making a blackface appearance in Target isn’t okay! Who does this? And whataboutism? WTF does Lester Holt have to do with someone acting like a total racist pig? Oops better ask Sean Hannity. See whole video at https://twitter.com/iceyxblues/status/1686803666055921664/video/2
Rudy Giuliani Brushes Up on His Toilet Humor
Memo to Rudy Giuliani: If you drop the soap, just leave it!
Barf-orama: Enough with the Drama, Too Much Trauma
Remember when when life was boring? Think Jimmy Carter and George H. W. Bush. Who needs this shit?
Don’t Misunderestimate Donald J. Trump
Misunderestimate him at your own peril. After all, he did figure out how to become President of the United States. And how to survive two impeachments and at least three indictments (at last count). And don’t forget he turned how to lie into a science. Not to mention avoid jail! That’s takes natural talent.
